I keep getting the message about starting a book club. I just kept pussyfooting around it.
What's interesting is that I've been trying to call in more active members of my community, but have been resisting being more active myself. I finally got to a point where I asked MYSELF: what would I want in a group to make me more active in it? So FINALLY I'm starting a book club in my FREE community. The book for May? The Kybalion! Purchase your copy here: https://amzn.to/2WnSG33 Hi guides. I feel you. And I thank you.
I journal while in my Akashic Records on a daily basis. Most of the time the writing that comes out in a straight channelled way. But some days, like today, I have a conversation with myself. I had a bad dream last night that resulted in me waking up ANGRY. I don’t remember the details, but that was my mood this morning. Naturally, I opened my Records and turned directly to my journal. ME: “Why haven’t my money problems just been solved yet? I’ve been taking the action and doing the things. What is still out of alignment?” MY GUIDES: “The debt is still serving you. You’re still in a spot where you would take the foot off the gas and slow your momentum if you were allowed to. You have the option to go about all of this differently and simply just be enjoying yourself. But you still believe it has to be hard and so you’re making it hard.” Such is the straightforward, truthful way that information comes through in the Records for me. There was no judgement behind any of these words; they were simply truths I never wanted to admit out loud. You can bet I’ll be spending a lot more time with my journal tomorrow! Here’s the thing: learning to read my own Akashic Records have been a game changer for me. There’s no way even the best coach, mentor, therapist, or basically ANYONE outside of me could have helped me to come to this realization today. I’ve been called to teach my own course on how to read your own Akashic Records. If you’re curious, YOU ARE BEING GUIDED TO LEARN. Click the link in the comments to reserve your spot TODAY! Interested in learning to read your own Records? Check out Linda Howe's book: https://amzn.to/2XWuLIH I woke up feeling kind of groggy today. I was literally about to cancel my day, which included showing up in the community I co-run- The Wootastic Goddess Revolution- with the Tarot reading for the week.
And then I pulled this card. (The cards have really been kicking my butt this week.) I’ve been feeling the effects of being in transition...because I’ve been choosing to make it difficult. I’ve also been full of a LOT of excuses because of this latest transition and all of the “difficulties” that came with it. I’ve been out of the practice of working with the moon; in checking the journal I keep specifically for moon work, I hadn’t done anything since the December New Moon...until the February Full Moon. I’ve essentially been told by the cards to calm the heck down, acknowledge that I’m still in the process of some major upgrades, and to STOP USING THE UPGRADING AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO WHAT I NEED TO DO. So I didn't excuse myself today. I showed up in my group and gave Tarot readings, showed up for my clients and showed up on a livestream. It was awesome! Little Mallory, as much as she wanted to be a princess, also had a thing for being unconventional. There are plenty of the sweet and smiling pictures of me as a young one too, but I always wanted to spice things up a bit too!
And if I happened to be able to make someone laugh in the process, so be it! One of the many things my mom taught me was that it was perfectly okay to march to the beat of my own drum (although I don't believe she expected my drum to be THIS different!) But my purpose on this planet is more important than anyone else's expectations of me. It just doesn't matter. I don't say this from an unloving place, or "against" my mother in any way. Because if I'm truly honoring this lesson she taught me, it's ESSENTIAL to break away from others' expectations. I did a release ritual LIVE last night on my personal page, and one of the many things I released was all the expectations I had of others in my life. I silently set the intention to release my own expectations around adhering to THEIR expectations. At this point, it's unrealistic for me to expect that now that I'm aware of my talents and spiritual gifts, that I'm not supposed to be open about them and using them in this world. It's unrealistic to expect that I'm making an impact on the world by hiding these gifts and talents under a bushel. It's unrealistic to expect that I can hide, and still help others get in touch with THEIR gifts, and ultimately help them live a life of joy and magic. I know I have a responsibility to be open about my journey. Not for my own indulgences, but because I know there are other's out there going through similar things. Who experience the SAME doubts. The SAME insecurities. The SAME fears. And I take my purpose in helping others to open themselves up to all the Universe has to offer VERY seriously. When is it “enough”? When is it ever “enough”? Does “enough” even exist?
I have goals around the amount of debt I want to pay off this year and have been doing the work to manifest this money. This week has been the most amount of money I’ve pulled in from my business which is AMAZING. But I pulled back today. I felt myself doing it. Today it felt like “enough” to just show up to my standing weekly forecast card reading livestream in my community, The Woo-tastic Goddess Revolution. I almost didn’t even make myself be honest enough with what was going on with me to even write this post! I posted the meme below in my group last night and have done a few livestreams alluding to this concept of self love not being just about bubble baths and relaxation time. It’s about giving yourself a kick in the ass when you need it. Was I the best example of that today? Absolutely not! Because I’m human. You can bet I’ll be fully back in the saddle tomorrow! I KNOW WHERE MY UNDERWEAR IS!
I say this somewhat flippantly, but I also feel like this is a pretty big win when you’ve moved for the third time since July. With all of the upheaval this week, it’s made it surprisingly easy to be really grateful for all that I have. I woke up with a headache on Wednesday. It lasted all day. It eased up a bit on Thursday morning after a full night of sleep, but came back full force when I had to go to the old place for the last minute cleaning. But as soon as the LAST swipe with the cleaning cloth happened, the headache completely disappeared. Because I’d allowed myself to energetically release ties to the old place and open myself up to the possibilities with this new place. A place that’s just OURS. For this, I’m truly grateful. I’m grateful for the mess all around me...because at least I have things that I'm making a mess with. I’m grateful for the extra expenditures this month that made my bank account a little sad...because I showed the Universe I was willing to accept its gifts. I’m grateful for all of this uncertainty around the road ahead...because it means things are going next level. The stress of this latest move has definitely gotten to me. I woke up around three this morning and started to cry.
Tears used to be a painful experience for me. My face, chest, and throat would tense up and I couldn’t WAIT to stop crying so this terrible feeling could just be OVER. This morning, there was more joy in the tears. It felt like a release. The tears were just simply FALLING. And the realization that I could stay in this emotion as long as I needed to didn’t scare me. I knew I wasn’t going to fall apart and be unable to rise. When I allowed myself to sink into this, when I didn’t physically resist through tension in my body, when I allowed myself to release, the result is I was only in that space for a short time. Three minutes to be exact. And it felt so good to simply release. I am a Seeker of new knowledge. I LOVE learning new things.
And I NEVER want to stop. I got emotionally charged about a message I got in Instagram. I’d invited the person to be a part of The Woo-tastic Goddess Revolution, the group I co-run with my partner Beth Neeley. The person responded by saying “oh, well I’m already a mentor.” So she didn’t need our group. While I understand that my energy and my voice won’t resonate with everyone and not everyone wants to learn from me, I would have a HUGE problem if MY mentor came to me and was like “meh. I’ve decided I’m done with the inner work. I’m no longer investing in coaches so that I can uplevel.” She’d be fired in a heartbeat. It’s my belief that I have a responsibility to my clients to keep learning and improving. It’s one thing to not feel called to a particular course/class/coach/group. It’s another thing to think you don’t need to keep learning because you already know it all. I was told that this constant seeking is bad. That I somehow don’t “know” myself because I’m constantly searching for new knowledge. But that’s just who I am. Because I am a SEEKER. But of course...I'll always take a little break for some Nancy Drew! This is a perfect illustration of what’s been going on internally for me the past week. I had a transformative experience in Mexico, where I unlocked a more mature version of who I am. The version that is a huge step closer to who I’m meant to be.
I started showing up in my life more in flow than I’ve ever been. And that means showing up on livestreams and STATING OPINIONS (gasp!). My Higher Self, which I’ve come to call WOMAN- the heart in this comic’s analogy- has been letting her authenticity shine. And that’s freaking out the other part of me that’s starting to fall away, which I’m calling the child and is represented by the brain in this comic. Before, the child ruled. She told me “don’t do that. We might get in trouble.” And to keep her safe, I didn’t do the thing that might get us in trouble. I played nice. I played SMALL. Now, WOMAN is at the forefront. She’d been trying to come out for a long time. She urges me to just do the damn thing...and let the freak flag fly! So I have been. But then the child comes out afterwards and lovingly warns me that “SOMEONE MIGHT SEE YOU. Someone might hear your message. What if they think we're weird?!” As new patterns settle in, and I step more fully into the upgraded version of my identity, I anticipate this push-pull will continue to happen. But the other role of WOMAN is to reassure the child that it’s okay. Because it IS okay. It's okay to be concerned soul-y (see what I did there?) with what's soul-aligned! |
AuthorJoy Goddess. Imaginatrix. Writer. Akashic Records Reader. Teacher. Archives
May 2019
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